Collegestuck
by Aizawa Sumi
Summary: Our favorite characters are in for the ride of their lives, as they are now in college! What will happen in this Humanstuck adventure, we will soon find out.
1. Chapter 1: The Plane

**Chapter one: The Plane**

**-John: Fly**

Your name is John Egbert, and you are very excited for your first day of college. You start tomorrow, and as of right now, it is 11:58 PM. Did I mention you are on a six-hour flight? You are on your way to the most prestigious school around, Alternia University. Some people might think its stupid for someone as grown up and mature as you to get excited over this, but it really is a big deal. A really really big deal. The entrance exams for this place must have been terrible, but of course you wouldn't know. Why would you? You are the only scholarship student they have had for decades. You have to admit, you do feel pretty awesome about it. Except for the fact that your family could only afford to pay for your sister to go to these schools. That is why you had to work so hard for these scholarships. Hey, that is another reason to be excited! You haven't seen Jade in months! You spent the summer with your father as oppose to her staying with her boyfriend and his family. This is going to be so awesome. You wonder how her life is going. Hey its 12:00 now. You should be landing soon.

**-Jade: Wait**

You are waiting, and you have been for several hours now. You wonder briefly where your boyfriend went, and then remember he went to get you some coffee. Even though airport coffee sucks and tastes like piss water, you have been living on it since you got here. You are genuinely surprised Karkat offered to go buy it, but you guess he's tired as well, and that is another excuse to go get some for himself. Even though he has been ranting non-stop for the past few hours, you are happy to have someone here with you instead of waiting in an airport alone for your brother. Besides, he is waiting for someone as well. You see Karkat approaching with two cups and a scowl on his face. You kiss him lightly on the forehead before he hands you a cup and sits down in one of the uncomfortable dark blue chairs beside you.

**-John: Land**

Okay, you can handle that. You have just been warned by the captain to remain seated and prepare to land. Yeah, no duh. Who would be stupid enough to fail the simple task of not running around the cabin while the plane is landing? You guess the warning is for little kids and elderly people too old to control their bowels. Ew! Nasty visual image! Just as you mentally face palm for thinking about this, a young man runs down the aisle.. Honking? Is he wearing clown makeup?

**-Gamzee: Run down the aisle honking**

On it.

**-John: Stare**

Sure thing.

**-Gamzee: Honk at the guy staring at you**

Which one? You decide to go with the guy in the black framed glasses, he looks nice.

**-John: Flip the fuck out**

What? Why would you do th- HOLY SHIT

**-Stewardess: Intervene?**

Of course you are going to intervene! It is your sworn duty as a stewardess to tackle the honking clown man and wrestle him back into his seat.

**-Gamzee: Miracles**

All of a sudden you are back in your seat. It must be a motherfucking miracle delivered to you from the mirthful messiahs.

**-John: Land already!**

Okay, okay, jeez. You are finally landing, but you are also still recovering from the shock of being honked at. It was truly a traumatic experience. You wait for the ding which means it is safe to get up and collect your few belongings. After a few uncomfortably silent minutes, the little ding noise goes off and you are grateful to get up and stretch. You grab your bag and get off the plane, almost bumping into an elderly woman who has probably lost control of her bowels. OH WAIT THAT HAS TO STOP.

**-Jade: Get excited!**

Okay! You just heard an announcement that Johns flight has landed! You are so happy to finally see him again! You shoot out of your chair and scare a sleepy Karkat who was resting on you and cause him to spill his coffee all over his shirt. He gets up in return, but not for the same reason. He is swearing and freaking out because his flesh is now burning. You try to calm him down and sprint across the huge room in a desperate attempt to find napkins.

**-Karkat: IT BURNS**

AHHHHHHHHHHHHH

**-Jade: WHERE ARE THE FREAKING NAPKINS?!**

You eventually convince a random stranger to give you his, and proceed to sprint to Karat's rescue. Oh god, he is making such a scene. You dry him off with the napkins you recently acquired, and try to get him to shut up.

"Karkat oh my god I am so sorry!"

You think he is starting to cry

"FUCK, Jade.."

"I know, I know, I'm clumsy, sorry.. Shhh..."

He then hugged you tightly and stained your new shirt as revenge. Well played.

-John: Be greeted by your sister and her strange stained friend

Hell yeah.

"John!"

Jade seemed to drop some napkins soaked in something to come hug you.

"Hi Jade!"

You hugged her tightly and feel something sopping into your shirt

"Uh... Jade?"

You pull away to reveal a big brown stain on her chest.

"...What is that?"

"Piss water."

You think you are about to throw up when her shouty friend comes up behind her

"What Jade means to say is that it is the airports coffee. It sucks."

You regain your balance, smile at the newcomer and awkwardly extend your hand.

"Hello! My name is John. Nice to meet you uh.."

"Karkat," the boy said grumpily.

He ignored your hand and you put it in your pocket, slightly disappointed.

Jade jabbed him in the ribs and put her arm around his waist.

"John, this is my boyfriend. Boyfriend, this is my brother.."

Just then, crazy honky man pranced into the waiting room and came straight for you. You dove behind Jade and watched in aw as Karkat defeated the beast by walking up to him and patting his head calmly. Weird.

**-Jade: Get this show on the road**

You rally up your group of freaks and help John with his bags. For some reason, Gamzee doesn't seem to have any. You finally exit the airport and eventually you hail a cab. You make the boys sit in the back because you need your own space. Also, you called shotgun. You give the driver the directions to campus so you all can get settled early. He looks at you like you are a freak and then sets off driving. Everybody acts like this when you tell them about AU, you wonder why.

**-Everybody: Arrive**

Sounds like a plan. After some struggling, Karkat finally got himself and Gamzee to their dorm room, and Jade showed John to his. She told him to get settled and that his roommate would be there the next day. She also told him to get some sleep, that she loved him, and finally, she said goodnight. They didn't know that that was the start of something amazing.


	2. Chips and Soda

**Chapter two: Chips and Soda**

**-John: Wake up**

After a few hours of sleep, I have finally willed myself to get out of bed. I still need to organize my stuff so my roommate doesn't think I'm a slob. I wonder who it is before dismissing the thought completely, how could I know? I am positive that there is no way I could know this guy.

I quickly stash away my belongings, and wait. I literally sit on my bed and wait for like three hours. I am about to give this up when I hear the door handle turn. I straighten up and put on a ready smile, just as my new roommate enters the room.

**-Dave: Be greeted**

Do I have a choice? Right when I walk in, this guy jumps off his bed to say hi. Suddenly I feel like Mr. Popular, but of course I don't react. I just say the standard "sup", and proceed to forget he exists. Fuck this, seriously. It's not like I want to go to this school, more like I was forced to. But, it's strange, this young man looks familiar. Maybe I've seen him somewhere in the city, but right now I'm too exhausted to care. I collapse on my bed without another word and take a long nap, fuck the police.

**-John: Wake your new roommate!**

Uh... No, that doesn't sound like a very good idea. Maybe I shouldn't be me right now; I will be waiting around for this guy for a few more hours.

**-Nepeta: Arrive**

My name is Nepeta Leijon, and I have just arrived at myr new home of seven months! I am very excited to meet my new roommate; I have heard from a friend that she is very nice. As I enter the main building to find out which way my dorm is, I am greeted by an older boy who has a twirl of purple in his hair and is wearing what I am pretty sure are Real D 3D glasses with the lenses popped out. He extends an arm and tries to take my bag, but I pull back and stare up at him.

"Who are you?"

"Only the most eligible bachelor around," he says with his funny accent and a wink.

Just then, a strong young man steps in front of him and relieves me of my luggage.

"Please excuse my friend. My name is Equius Zahhak, and this is Eridan Ampora," he says, "Let me take your bags as a reimbursement for his foolish behavior."

You smile at him and reply, "My name is Nepeta Leijon. It is nice to meet you, Equius."

Eridan moved from behind Equius and put his arm around me.

"Eridan! What are you doing?!" a girl with bright red shades nearly shrieks while running up to us. She then pushed him off and put a protective arm out in front of me.

"What? I was just having some fun."

Huh. It seems he can barely pronounce the letter "v".

"Not by scaring the freshmen! You know I could write you up for this!"

"Yeah, yeah," he says blandly, "I just didn't know I could go to jail for wooing another young girl,"

The girl doubles over in laughter

"You have no idea how wrong that sounds!"

Eridan waves her away and turns back to me, "I'll be seeing you later, Nepeta."

He then winks again and walks away.

I look at the strange laughy girl and then at Equius. He sighs.

"And this is Terezi Pyrope. I don't understand why nobody wants to introduce themselves today."

Terezi regains her balance and walks up to me.

"Need some help?" she says with a toothy grin.

"Uh, yes, actually, I was looking for my dorm..."

I trail off and hand her a piece of paper with the information on it. Equius looks over my shoulder as Terezi gives you directions.

As we walk, Equius begins to apologize. Again.

"I am so sorry for that, Nepeta, I'm sure they weren't trying to make you uncomfortable," he says

"Equius, I already told you! It's fine, really," I smile at him, "and thanks again for carrying my bags. Are sure they aren't too heavy?"

"Of course they aren't, at least not for me, you see, I am exceptionally STRONG."

I laugh as we arrive at my dorm room.

"If it's not too much trouble, can you just drop my bags inside? If you don't want to I guess it's fine but I-"I don't get a chance to finish, he has already pushed through the door and dropped my bags on the empty bed. The other, I realize, is occupied by a huge mess of dark hair. I don't want to wake my roommate and potential friend, so I quickly usher Equius out the door and close it behind us. We now stand in the hall with nothing to talk about.

"Who was that Eridan guy? He seemed nice."

Equius holds in a laugh and replies, "He is the second most powerful student here. I suggest you keep to his good side. He is also a bit of a ladies man, so watch out."

I smile and hug him lightly. When I pull away he is blushing and sweating heavily. I give another quick smile and say my goodbyes as I re-enter my room. I have officially decided, I want to be friends with Equius. Best friends.

**- Now go take a shower!**

Finally. I meant to take one before I left for AU, but I wanted to get here early. I hope Jade doesn't mind. Or at least, I think her name is Jade. That's what it says on the tag of one of the towels. I made sure to avoid that one and use a college provided towel instead. I try to make it out before she wakes up, but judging by the ruckus going on outside, she has already beaten me to it.

**-Jade: Wake up**

Bluh, I don't want to wake up, but I know I have to. This is the second to last day before classes begin! There is a lot to do! I immediately notice the bags on the recently empty bed across from me, and try to get up in a hurry. I think I got the artist as a roommate. Or maybe the writer, I don't remember. I do remember, however, that we are all here for a reason, and mine is science! Now time to get dressed before that shower turns off and I am faced with a situation involving two half naked girls!

**-Nepeta: Get out of the shower**

I turn off the shower and step out onto a fluffy white shower mat. I reach for a towel and realize it doesn't really cover much of my petite figure. Wellp, too bad. We are both girls anyway, what does it matter?

**- Jade: Get dressed?**

I'm doing my best! Why is this suddenly so hard? I hear the bathroom door handle click and I slip on my jeans just in time.

A young woman, my new roommate steps into the room. I am going to have to double check this chick's background; I think I got paired with the model.

I try to keep my mouth shut, but I can't help it.

"Towels, huh? That's why I bring my own; these schools must think we are midgets!"

I suddenly realize what I just said and I try to read her facial expression to see if she hates me for the possibly offensive joke. She is small, but not that small. Wow, what is up with me today?

After a few seconds a smile registers on her face and I silently thank the gods. She speaks in a light, calming tone.

"Hello. My name is Nepeta, you must be Jade."

She reaches out to shake my hand and almost drops her towel. Her face flushes red as she quickly regains herself and runs over to get dressed. I sit cross legged and face the wall as she changes.

"Yes, my name is Jade. Nice to meet you!"

I smile to myself, she is so cute!

"Oh, you might want to hurry," I warn, "my boyfriend and his roommate are coming over soon, sorry."

I feel bad for inviting them when she wasn't even here yet, and embarrassed for forgetting my manners.

"I thought it was a good idea to go get breakfast with them, after all, it's only 9:35. You can come if you'd like."

"Only if it wouldn't be any trouble," she says, pulling on her leggings.

"Oh of course not! My treat!"

She thanks me, and I smile in return.

I hear a knock on the door and rush to check who it is. Sure enough, it's Karkat and Gamzee.

"They're here," I say, turning to her. She is wearing a grey patterned balloon skirt with a blue sweatshirt and green leggings, paired with blue ballerina flats. I suddenly feel under dressed in my skinny jeans and green tank top, but I don't mind. I tie up my hair in a quick messy bun and examine her short, brown hair.

"What is it?" she asks nervously

"Nothing," I reply with a laugh, "I just really like your hair."

She smiles as another annoyed knock comes from the other side of the door. When I open it, I kiss Karkat on the cheek and fist bump Gamzee. I introduce them to Nepeta quickly, and lead them outside to the car I had flown over yesterday. It was pretty big; I could probably fit all of my friends in there! We all climb in and set off in the search for food.

**-Karkat: Go get breakfast**

I have wanted to do that for a while, but being the amazing boyfriend I am, I waited for Jade. I sit next to her in shotgun, even though I kind of wanted to drive. Her new friend seems nice enough, but she hasn't spoken much so I'm not really sure. When we arrive at the breakfast place, we all sit at a table and go around asking questions. At one point Nepeta asks me why I am dating a freshman when I'm a sophomore. Jade blushes and pulls me from the other side of the booth and plants one on my lips. Everybody agreed the question was answered and then we all kind of just waited awkwardly until our food came. We all got pancakes, except for Gamzee, he just ordered a bottle of Faygo "to go". I have no idea what he means by that, and I wonder if I should be concerned that that seems to be all he eats.

-Jade: Introduce everyone properly

"Nepeta, this is, as you already know, my boyfriend. His name is Karkat Vantas. And this," I gesture to Gamzee, "Is his moirail."

"Jade, I told you a million times, moirail isn't a word!" Karkat shouts.

"Gamzee thinks it is, so I do too," I reply smugly

**-Nepeta: Be thoroughly confused**

Wow uh.. Are they really dating? Karkat and Jade are fighting over the word... "moirail". Huh. I guess I'll just have to look it up some day. Gamzee sits at the table staring off into space and I decide to distract myself by looking around this little eatery. I spot an olive skinned girl looking at me, as if trying to understand a complicated chart of some sort. Eventually, the blonde miss that was sitting across from her stops babbling about clothes and knitting and follows her gaze. I am thankful for the waitress finally bringing our pancakes so I don't have to continue the awkward stare-off. Kind of like a distraction from a distraction. I turn to see that Karkat has given up and decided that Jade had won. For now.

**-It's been a while; let's check back with John and Dave.-**

**-Dave: Wake up**

I begrudgingly oblige to the orders of my body, and slink out of bed. I check to see if my shades are still on, and pick my bag up off the ground. I quickly store my shit in the little night table next to my bed. Now that that's out of the way, I sit back down on the bed. Across the room, I can see the same young man sleeping against the wall. He must have dozed off while watching me sleep. Fucking creeper. I decide I'm hungry and go off to find food. I want to be quick, I have to get back before he wakes up. I might be cool and ironic, but I am not a total douche bag. I at least want to get his name. Why not? As I make my way down the hall, I couldn't help but notice the large amount of holiday posters and banners. I make a mental note to take them down as soon as I can. Christmas is in three months for Christ's sake. Halloween hasn't even passed yet. I exit the main hallway and realize for the first time that I have absolutely no idea where I'm going. Whatever, I'll get there soon enough.

**-Eridan: notice the hottie**

It's a guy but who cares? I'm not picky.

**-Dave: Be hit on**

All of a sudden, this junior guy walks up to me. Oh god, it's a hipster. I ignore him, but he keeps up pace and stops me at the door. Oh dear lord is he hitting on me?

"Move."

"Not happening, hot stuff."

"Dude, get out of the way."

"I told you no. Now, what's your name cutie?"

"Did you just call me cute?"

"How could I resist?"

Eventually, I just push him out of the way and make my way down the stairs and out of the building. I see a map and discreetly check it as I walk by. I walk to a corner store, and buy soda, chips, and Skittles. I am ironically buying the Skittles for my sister, she loves that shit. I avoid the hipster and get back to my dorm right before that other guy wakes up. He'll never know. What's his name, anyway?

**-John: Get up**

Sigh, fine. I don't actually remember falling asleep though. Huh. When I stand, I feel a sharp pain in my neck. I guess that's what I get for sleeping against a wall. My roommate doesn't seem to be here right now, but I can hear footsteps outside the doorway. I can't brush off the feeling that I have met this guy before. Strange. I know you have seen those shades somewhere, and his hair.. Woah. OH MY GOD.

**-Dave: Get in there**

Chips in hand, I return to my room. This time though, the guy tries to tackle me. I push him off and pin him against the wall.

"The fuck, dude?"

"Dave! It's you, isn't it? Oh my god it's been so long!"

Just then, something clicks in my mind and I release him to drop to the ground. No, not "him". John.

"Holy shit. Egbert?"

"I missed you!"

He tries to hug me again, but I push him off and sit on the bed.

"The last time I saw you was in middle school!"

"Yeah, wow. Didn't think you'd be here."

"Do you... Not want me to be here?"

I give him the patented Strider stare and we sit there in silence until I throw the chips at him.

"I got chips."


End file.
